


beneath the sleet grey sky

by thebronzerambler



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, High School, Kinda, moody teenagers and feelings, some references to family violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-08
Updated: 2021-01-26
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:54:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26894764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebronzerambler/pseuds/thebronzerambler
Summary: Sometimes, Lexa feels like she was born into this world already fighting. Her hands balled into fists, her jawline clenched, her body tense and on guard, ready. Sometimes, she felt like the bubbling well of fury that simmered underneath her skin was the only thing that sustained her, kept her alive, and that if she paused – took stock, took a breath and let it seep out of her, she would crumple.Sometimes, fighting isn't enough.---orLexa is an outsider, all dark leather and sharp cheekbones, smoking cigarettes behind the gym...and Clarke Griffin can't keep her eyes off her.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin & Lexa, Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 47
Kudos: 165





	1. Chapter 1

Sometimes, Lexa feels like she was born into this world already fighting. Her hands balled into fists, her jawline clenched, her body tense and on guard, ready. Sometimes, she felt like the bubbling well of fury that simmered underneath her skin was the only thing that sustained her, kept her alive, and that if she paused – took stock, took a breath and let it seep out of her, she would crumple.

She had reasons to be angry, _countless_ reasons. When she had been younger when she was too scared to sleep and too angry to let fear take her, she would lie would lie awake and count the reasons for her rage, knot them out as tangible prayers, every breath that she took was a revenge fantasy of the purest form.

She had always been dissatisfied with the way the world had been presented to her and her role in it. _Be quiet,_ _be still, be small_ , they always said to her– she had learnt early how to do this, but instead of softening her like her parents had wanted it too, it had made her edges sharper.

She wore her rage like armour, but to the outside world it seemed she seemed cold, inscrutable, unfathomable. While inside, she burnt white hot and singed everything she touched. In the schoolyard, she cut a striking figure - all dark leather and sharp cheekbones, grey green eyes that told you nothing. She smoked cigarettes behind the gymnasium with John Murphy and skipped class. They weren’t _friends_ exactly, but they had an uneasy understanding that neither of them fit, misshapen puzzle pieces, and they could sit in silence or cracks stupid jokes without either of them asking too many questions.

Clarke saw her there one afternoon, scuffing her sneakers on the bitumen and blowing smoke rings, a half-smile on her face as she answered something John Murphy had said to her.

 _Lexa Woods._ They had been in the same school year since the start of high-school and she had lurked, like a shadow behind of the rest of her peers, with their easy laughter and fast friendship.

 _Lexa Woods._ Late for class again, wearing ripped jeans and bags under eyes.

 _Lexa Woods._ Bruised knuckles and a swollen lip, smoking cigarettes behind the gym.

 _Lexa Woods._ In detention, again. But also, always, somehow passing school.

Lexa looked up from the ground, scratching out the butt of her cigarette with the heel of her shoe. She caught Clarke’s gaze, a smirk growing across her lips, her forest green eyes meeting the pale blue of Clarke’s. Clarke looked away. She wasn’t sure when _Lexa Woods_ had shifted from an enigma, an outsider in their tight-knit year level, to someone who made her breath ragged, her heart caught in her throat. She looked away quickly, feeling Lexa’s gaze bore into the back of her head.

“What are you looking at, Griffin?” Raven said, tugging her along. “We’re late for History.”

Clarke still felt the burn of Lexa’s gaze, the corner of her smirk. “Nothing,” she said.

 _Nothing._ It was only later when she was curled in her bed that she let the warm feeling of Lexa’s eyes on the back of her neck, the flash of forest green, the smell of smoke on her tongue lull her into a fitful sleep. The sounds and smell of _Lexa Woods_ permeated her dreamscape until she awoke, tired and restless.

Clarke Griffin ran the faucet in the school bathroom, splashing some water on her face and examining the bags under eyes. _Get it together, Griffin._ She had a full day of classes, a maths test in the last period, and she needed to excise the distraction of _Lexa Woods_ from her subconscious. She walked into English, barely registering the incessant stream of rapturous chatter Octavia was making about her new boyfriend, Lincoln.

 _Lexa Woods_ was sitting away from the rest of their class, leaning back on the chair and chewing on the end of her pen as she stared wistfully out the window. She looked serene, almost. She was dressed in her usual leather, white shirt, dark eyeliner, and Clarke could see the hint of collarbone under her jacket that caused her mouth to go dry.

Clarke, without fully thinking through her action, placed her books on the desk next to Lexa and took a seat. _Nobody sat next to Lexa Woods._ The mixture of fear and distaste that shrouded her in their peer group meant that the seat next to Lexa Woods was nearly always kept vacant. Lexa looked over, meeting her gaze. For a moment, Clarke almost thought she saw something soften under Lexa’s façade – something hopeful, relieved even. But before she could acknowledge, she saw Lexa’s jawline harden and her gaze became unfathomable. In one swift moment, she swept up her books and placed them on the desk next to them, putting a space between them. “We’re not friends, Clarke.” Lexa uttered, barely audible over the furore of their classmates.

Clarke felt the feeling of hot shame creep up the back of her neck, her face reddening. She picked up her books and slammed them on the seat next to Octavia.

“Fine.” She said, fuming, refusing to look back at Lexa and give her the satisfaction of seeing how angry she was. Octavia and Raven shared a silent look between them, knowing better than to try and talk to Clarke when she was emanating so much rage.

Finn Collins piped up from the back of the room. “Hey princess, you can sit next to me if you want?” Clarke rolled her eyes, ignoring him. The last thing she wanted right now was the easy flirtation of Finn Collins. She kept gaze fixed pointedly on the blackboard in front of her, her heartrate racing and she thought about Lexa’s words. _We’re not friends, Clarke._ Well, you definitely wouldn’t be now. She cursed her idiocy and tried to banish _Lexa Woods_ from her mind.

Clarke’s fury lasted until lunchtime, until Raven bored of her irritability and sullen silences. “Okay Griffin,” she said. “ _Enough._ What is with you today?”

Clarke tore the crusts off her sandwich and tossed them to the seagulls stalking around the edge of the schoolyard. “Nothing,” She said, ignoring Raven and Octavia’s exasperated sighs.

“Is this about Lexa Woods?” Octavia said. “You’re been in a mood since she didn’t want to sit next to you.”

Clarke didn’t respond to this, feeling the knot in her stomach tighten, trying to force her face to remain impassive.

“You don’t have to save everyone, Clarke.” Octavia said.

“Yeah,” Raven echoed. “Some people are a lost cause…”

Clarke sighed. “Thanks guys,” She said, finishing of her sandwich and watching the gulls squawk and fight over the last of her crusts. She wondered if her friends guessed the depth of her crush on _Lexa Woods_ or if they thought she simply trying her best to befriend everyone in their class, charm the cold, aloof demeanour of Lexa Woods before their final year of high school.

She hoped it was the latter.

***

Clarke’s mood did not improve as the day wore on and at seven o’clock, she slammed her textbooks closed with a frustrated sigh. Abby had been hovering near Clarke all evening, impervious to the tension in the air.

“How was your math test, Clarke?”

“It was fine, Mum.”

“ _Fine._ I know you’ve been having difficult with those algebraic equations.”

“Yeah, it was _fine.”_

Abby sighed, searching in the crisper for something to salvage for dinner. Clarke and her mother usually got on quite well, but sometimes the combination of Clarke’s iron-will and Abby’s steely determination led to tension, knotted and unwieldy between them. If Jake Griffin had been alive, it was at this point that his laughter would break through. He would sweep Abby and Clarke up in a tight bear hug and crack a joke about how they were too similar not to fight. His bright blue eyes would light up, easy laughter and gentle mockery pulling the two of them from their conflict, charming an unwilling smile from them both, an uneasy truce. But without him, the yawning gap in their family, the tense silence fell between them, discordant and aching.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“But, I’m just about cook something for dinner…”

“I’m not hungry,” Clarke said, her nose wrinkling at the prospect of Abby Griffin’s cooking. “I’ll pick something up later…”

Before Abby could respond, Clarke had pulled her jacket from the back of chair and stalked out of the front door. It was still early spring, and a light drizzle hung over the darkening sky. The sky was sleet grey, and Clarke had wandered around the block a few times and was almost considering whether she should go home and try to forage something for dinner before her feet guided her to the local playground. It was an older park, relatively unchanged since her childhood, with a metal slide and timber equipment, a sandpit and swings.

She sat on the swing, barely moving, her feet dragging lazily in the tanbark. It was times like this she missed her father with an aching loneliness than nothing could fill. She missed his warm steadying presence and the gaping hole that it had left in her family. He had always been the binding agent, the secret ingredient to the happy Griffin family, and she missed him with a hollow ache that she could barely put into words.

She saw a figure emerge out of the fading light, shrouded by the slow trickle of rain. They were wearing a hood pulled over their head, a few tendrils of brown locks spilling out. Clarke saw a flash of green, a familiar loping stride that came to the edge of the park before stopping, unsure. _Lexa Woods._ The thrill of anticipation that had accompanied catching sight of Lexa over the last few months, even this morning, had faded into a hollow numbness and Clarke barely registered her presence. She saw Lexa, as cautious as a cat, scuff her boots on the tanbark a few times, finger her sleeves absentmindedly before edging closer to where Clarke swung limply, barely moving.

“Hello, Clarke.” She said, her voice quieter than usual.

Clarke looked up, saying nothing. She would have given anything this morning to have Lexa acknowledge her like this. But under the sleet grey sky, the silent drip of rain and thudding emptiness in her chest, she felt nothing.

“Do you mind if I join you?” Lexa said, even quieter this time. Her voice was timid, pleading almost and Clarke felt the icy coldness in her chest dislodge slightly.

She met Lexa’s gaze, who looked exhausted, depleted and she gave the smallest of nods.

Lexa took the swing next to her, swinging her legs up like a little kid to give herself height. She swung wordlessly for a little while, the only sound the slow drip of rain and rusty squeak of the swing set. Clarke looked over at Lexa and felt the familiar hitch in her throat. Lexa was _beautiful_ as always, and softer now. Clarke could see a fresh bruise beginning to bloom underneath her chin and her skin was pale, her eyeliner running. But she was _beautiful,_ her high cheekbones, royal features carved freshly from stone, her melancholic eyes and taut jawline.

“I’m sorry, Clarke…about earlier.” Lexa said, almost a whisper, barely audible over the rain. “I’m not used to… _people_ reaching out.”

Her voice was aching, raw, and Clarke almost felt her heart break under the tenderness of it. But the burning anger, the humiliation of earlier and the seething imprint of resentment it had left on her was not entirely gone.

“It’s alright. You’re right. _We’re not friends_.” Clarke’s words came out colder, harsher, than she anticipated and she regretted them almost instantly. She felt Lexa reel back, scuff her boots on the tanbark to slow her swinging as if she was about to skulk off into the growing darkness.

Clarke looked at her, her eyes were slightly bloodshot and her brow was knitted with confusion. “But maybe we could be?” Clarke said.

Lexa’s face split into an uneasy smile, a smirk almost. Clarke felt the icy numbness in her chest melt a little, smiling back. “I’d like that,” Lexa said.

She played with the cuffs of her sleeves awkwardly, smiling quietly to herself. “I used to love this park as a little kid,” she continued. “I’ve never seen anyone else here at this time, it’s usually a bit of hideout for me.”

Clarke hummed under her breath. “I always loved the swings the best.”

Lexa laughed quietly, breathy and shallow. She pulled out a pack of cigarettes and lit one, blowing smoke, almost like steam in the chilled night air. Clarke smelt the smoke, the heat from her breath and remember the fitful uneasy layers of her dreams from the night before.

“I see you looking at me, you know,” Lexa said. Her tone wasn’t accusatory, but curious, perplexed even.

“I don-“ Clarke began, ready to deny it.

I don’t mind.” Lexa said quickly. “I’m just not used to it, y’know… _you don’t at me like the others do.”_

Clarke furrowed her brow, she hadn’t considered that cool, aloof, misunderstood _Lexa Woods_ wanted to be seen any other way.

Clarke felt herself buoyed on, suddenly, hit with a sudden bravery. Inspired almost, by the silhouette of Lexa struck across the greying sky, smoke curling into the smattering of stars above.

“I like looking at you.”

Lexa reached out a hand, her fingers were surprisingly warm and curled into Clarke’s cold ones. Clarke felt her heart in her throat, suddenly tongue-tied and nervous as Lexa’s thumb lightly circled the back of Clarke’s hand.

Lexa pulled her to her feet, and it took every ounce of Clarke’s willpower not to kiss her, not to pull her into her arms and lose herself in those bright green eyes, that hidden smirk. Lexa smiled, closer now, her hot breath of Clarke’s neck. She tightened her grip on Clarke’s hand, tugging her away from the swing set.

“Come on, Clarke Griffin. It’s getting late…I’ll walk you home.” Her voice was light, musical even and Clarke allowed herself, suddenly airborne, to be pulled away into the oncoming darkness.


	2. Chapter 2

Since the conversation in the park, something between them had shifted imperceptibly. Clarke would be scurrying across the schoolyard with Octavia, late for class, and she would catch sight Lexa cross the schoolyard, hands deep in her pockets, leaning against the low brick wall behind the gym, gaze cast downward. Clarke would feel the familiar flutter of her heartbeat in her chest and Lexa would catch her eye, the smallest of smiles dancing across her lips, her beautiful green eyes brightening.

In her English class on Wednesday morning, Lexa sauntered in late with little more than exasperated sigh from the teacher. She looked harried, paler, her hair more wild and unkept than usual. But when she met Clarke’s gaze she and sent her a self-satisfied wink before taking her seat at the back of the class. Clarke felt her mouth go dry, and hid her wide smile behind her hand before Raven noticed and nudged her under the table.

Clarke clasped these moments to her chest, folded and refolded them into intricate paper cranes, and stored them in her notebooks to take out later and examine in the different light of her bedroom. Lexa remained an enigma to Clarke, she was softer now, warmer too, but she always stood just out of reach, her edges distorted by the afternoon light.

Raven had noticed too, not the lingering stares and half-scribbled drawing in the edges of her notebook of sharp jawlines and intricate braids, but Clarke’s brightened mood. She laughed more often, and easier, she seemed lighter than she had been for a while.

“You’ve cheered up, Griffin.” She gave Clarke a knowing look, and Clarke hoped that her face did not give anything away. It wasn’t that she _ashamed_ of having such a desperate crush on _Lexa Woods_ or that that she was ashamed for having a crush on a girl. Although she hadn’t told her directly, she assumed Raven had intimated from all her early adolescent make-out sessions with girls that she wasn’t strictly heterosexual. But she enjoyed the secret smiles that Lexa and her shared, the playful glint in her forest green eyes and she wasn’t quite ready to have her crush on _Lexa Woods_ examined under the cold harsh light of day, or under the piercing gaze of Raven Reyes.

“Yeah, I think the weather getting better has really cheered me up…” Clarke said, weakly, scrambling for something to say.

Raven raised an eyebrow and made a noncommittal noise, entirely unconvinced. Clarke ignored her, pretending to be deeply interested in her history textbook.

Some nights, Clarke would excuse herself from dinner early to go for a walk to get some air and clear her head. She loved her mother, but the constant monologue of _homework_ and _thinking about your future_ made her headache, the taut string of her patience stretched over its threshold. She would stalk the familiar tree-lined streets, the mountain in the distance, enjoy the cool sting of the early spring air.

One night, she was walking the perimeter of the familiar playground when she caught sight of _Lexa_ out of the corner of her eye. She was perched underneath the awning of a building site that was closed for the day, her feet leaning on a pile of large cinderblocks. Clarke could a see a spiral of smoke, Lexa’s head pulled low and her dark clothing making her almost disappear into the shadows and fading light.

She paused, skirting around the edge of the building site. Lexa, even with her small smiles and lingering glances, still reminded her strongly of a cat, cautious and skittish and Clarke gave her a wide berth.

“Hello Clarke,” She heard Lexa’s voice, low and gravelly from a few metres away.

“Lexa?” She said, feigning surprise.

“I know you saw me, Clarke.”

Clarke smiled, enjoying the game. “Good hiding place, Lexa. I almost didn’t.”

“I didn’t know you took so many night-time walks…”

“I enjoy the scenery.” It was Lexa’s turn to smile at this, amused, her face illuminated by the slim glimmer of moonlight.

“Do you want to sit with me?” Clarke nodded and Lexa held her hand out from the pile of cinder blocks and pulled Clarke up to where she was sitting. Clarke felt her hand in Lexa’s, her warm breath on her cheek, she could smell the smoke on her breath as Lexa made space for her.

She pulled out a bottle of something in a brown paper bag and passed it to Clarke. Clarke shot her an unamused look, before shrugging and taking a swig. The liquid burned in her throat, causing her to splutter. It wasn’t the first time that Clarke had drunk alcohol, but usually it was diluted heavily with mixers and she was primed for it on a weekend.

Lexa laughed under breath, and Clarke winced before passing it back. “Strong,” she said.

Lexa shrugged good-naturedly and took a swig herself. “It does the job,” she said. She was looking at Clarke, a small smile on her lips, her hair was pulled back into beautiful intricate braids, her skin illuminated by the sliver of moonlight above them.

Clarke shivered involuntarily against the cold spring air and the feeling of Lexa _so close_.

“Are you cold, Clarke? “ Lexa asked, and Clarke nodded, mutely. She pulled her body closer to Clarke, wrapping her jacket around both. Clarke could feel the press of Lexa’s body against hers, the uneven ripple of her breath against her chest. “Better?

Clarke made a noncommittal noise, allowing herself to be enveloped in _Lexa._ She could smell her, underneath the arid tint of smoke, earthy and sweet, like molasses. She could feel Lexa’s steady heartbeat against her skin, and her own ragged breath. They weren’t very high up, but they could see the outline of the treetops above the park and last swells of pale blue before the sky turned an austere navy.

“What are you doing here, Lexa?”

Lexa pulled away slightly, picking at the end of her fingertips. “It doesn’t really matter where I go, as long as it isn’t there.”

Clarke took a deep breath, feeling her heart break along entirely new fault lines at the look on Lexa’s face.

Lexa smiled, half exhausted. “Strategic absences,” she said.

She coughed, slightly under breath, willing the conversation to shift in another direction, barely able to meet the sadness in Clarke’s gaze.

“Why don’t you leave, Lexa?”

Lexa smiled at that, a resigned smile.

“I have eighteen months.” She said. “Eighteen months until I finish school and I can get out. I don’t want to go into the system. I’ve seen it before, it will create so much disruption, so much paperwork. I need to finish high school and then…I can leave. I can survive until then.”

Clarke didn’t know what to say to this, she swallowed the lump in her throat. Lexa’s gaze was pleading, exhausted, but determined.

“I have places to go, I am not there very often…” She said, almost reassuring. “I have it handled, Clarke. You don’t need to worry.”

Her voice cracked slightly, and she took another swig from the brown paper bag. Her eyes were shining and Clarke could see the steely determination in her face.

“…an abandoned building site at night time is not a _place to go,_ Lexa.” She wanted to accept Lexa’s determined tone, but the anger that rose in her at the injustice of it all spurned her on.

Lexa shrugged, and slow smirk returned in her face. “Well, I don’t usually have company…”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at this, despite the rising rage inside her. “Lex-…”

Before Clarke could utter out a retort, Lexa kissed her.

It was sudden and slow, and Clarke was forced to swallow the response on her lips, almost unable to breathe. Lexa’s lips were so _soft_ and she was surprisingly gentle, holding Clarke’s hand in hers. Clarke kissed her back and she felt time standstill, her heart pounded like staccato gunfire in her chest as she felt herself sink further into _Lexa._ The smell of her and feel of her warm skin, the softness of her lips and her hot breath in the airless night. Finally, Lexa pulled away and leaned her forehead against Clarke’s, a smile that she hadn’t seen before on the corner of her lips.

“Fuck,” Clarke said, breathless. She finally allowed herself to exhale, terrified that the moment would slip from her fingers like sand.

“I’ve been wanting to do that for the _longest time_ …” Lexa said quietly.

“…really?” Clarke said. She could barely believe what she had just said. _Lexa Woods_ , all sharp edges and dark leather and been _wanting_ to kiss _her_ for so long.

Lexa’s smiled widened, and she brushed lips against Clarke’s cheek. “Of course, Clarke. You’re _beautiful_ – but you always seemed untouchable to someone like me.”

Clarke’s skin burned, and she felt her heart break again, similar rivulets along her ventricles, and she felt her hand tighten around Lexa’s.

Clarke kissed her, desperate almost, fingering the back of Lexa’s braids. She felt like she had been drowning, suffocating, and kissing Lexa was breathing deep, gulping gasps of air she didn’t know she had deprived of until now. She felt a moan die at the back of Lexa’s throat as she deepened the kiss, deep and husky that made her whole body vibrate.

Lexa pulled away, her voice low and gravelly. “Clarke…it’s late. Let me take you home.”

Clarke nodded, unconvinced. She was lost in a haze and wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of her days perched on this pile of cinderblocks, lost in _Lexa._ She wanted to spend hours under the smattering of stars and the crescent moon, lost in the taste and feel of _Lexa_ _Woods_. But the air felt icy now, and it was getting later and she knew she was right.

Lexa jumped from their alcove and helped her down. Her fingers twisting around Clarke’s, pulling her closer.

She walked her to her door, saying very little, still absorbed in the feeling her finger rubbing circles on the back of her palm and feeling of her skin against hers.

Lexa kissed at the door to her house, quickly and with the shadow of a self-satisfied smile on her face.

Clarke sighed as she closed the door behind her, watching the sauntering figure of _Lexa Woods_ disappear into the darkness, her hands buried in her pockets and her head held high against the cool spring air.

****

Lexa awoke slowly, a dull ache emanating from the back of her head, down her spine. She was warm though and the images of last night filtered back to her. She had left the house, quickly and quietly to avoid interactions with her father. She had contemplated some of her favourite haunts, the library, a bar downtown that never checked ID, the playground. She had intended to sit on the swing, maybe read something until it got late enough and she could slip into her bed without anyone noticing her. She had settled on the empty building site adjacent to the park, it was hidden and dark and she enjoyed the height and anonymity of it. She smoked and took the occasional swig of whiskey, watched the last of flecks of pink and orange cloud fade into the darkened haze.

She had spotted Clarke well before she had noticed her, her figure bent against the cold, her blonde hair like spun like sunlight and her blue eyes, bright and piercing. _Clarke Griffin,_ who made her heart feel like it would burst out of her chest. _Clarke Griffin_ who always managed to pull the smallest of smiles from her, no matter how sour and dark her mood.

She had kissed _Clarke Griffin,_ perched on the side of the world and _Clarke Griffin_ had kissed her back. Lexa smiled to herself, allowing the last haze of sleep to wash away. _Clarke Griffin_ had kissed her back.

She felt lighter today, and the day seemed easier. She avoided her parents and made her way to school well before the school bell. She found John Murphy before her first class, leaning against the brick wall of the gym and eating an apple.

“Hello, Woods.” He said, nodding.

“Murphy…” She said, returning his nod.

“What have you got first?”

“Science.”

He groaned in response. “My least favourite…”

She shrugged, barely cognizant of the conversation. Her gaze was fixed on the large expanse of students that was slowly ambling into the main administration building. The building was the oldest in the school, with art deco curves and a red brick exterior. It was pretty, shaded by yawning Eucalypts and a large maple tree. She was looking for _Clarke_ , hoping to catch sight of her before the first bell rang. There was a small part of her that felt like last night had been a dream, and barely dared to believe that the look Clarke had given when she kissed her back _meant anything._

She caught sight of her, her heart lodged in her throat. Clarke was lost in conversation with Raven and Octavia, laughing at something one of them had said to her. Lexa averted her gaze, scuffing her boot on the worn bitumen as John muttered something to her about their science homework.

Clarke looked up, catching her eye. She looked at Lexa, raised an eyebrow and gave an almost imperceptible nod, indicating towards the bathroom. Clarke then said something inaudible to her friends, swung her bag over her shoulder and made her way towards the toilet on the side of the administration building.

Lexa moved quickly in response, she nodded to John and said something under her breath about needing to use the toilet before class. John shrugged, taking another bite of his apple.

As soon as Lexa opened the door, Clarke launched herself on her, pushing her against the toilet door and kissing her hard. Lexa was taken aback momentarily before she responded with gusto, her hands in Clarke’s hair, her arms around her waist. She was kissing her, her tongue was in her mouth and her breath on her neck. Lexa could almost hear Clarke’s name on her lips, desperate and hungry. Clarke had pushed her against the door, barricading themselves in the toilet. She didn’t even mind the smell of sour urine and cheap detergent that met her nose, distracted by the feel of Clarke’s skin, scorching, against her own.

Clarke only pulled away from her, her breath ragged and uneven when the first bell rang.

“Wow, Clarke.” Lexa said.

Clarke smiled at her, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“I saw you, looking like this _this_ and skulking behind the gym.” She gestured to Lexa’s face and her leather jacket. “…and I couldn’t resist.”

Lexa laughed, still catching her breath.

“I’ve got to go,” Clarke said. “Or I’m going to be late…”

Lexa nodded, swinging her own bag over her shoulder and hoping her face wasn’t as red and flushed as she expected it to be.

Clarke leaned forward, kissing her once more, deep and lingering. “Walk me home later?”

Lexa nodded back at her, tightening her grip on the strap of her bag, entirely lost for words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thanks for all your feedback :) I've got lots of ideas for this one, more coming soon! Chapters will come out a little faster in a couple of weeks when my semester ends and I have some more time.
> 
> Thanks again!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, sorry for the delay with this one. My life fell apart and I had minimal time for writing, but more coming soon! This chapter has some low-level violence and some references to sexual harassment. Thanks so much for all the feedback.

Clarke Griffin spent the following weeks feeling like she was almost hiding happiness from herself, she would catch herself smiling and staring into the distance, cajoled and distracted by the last the time Lexa had kissed her. Lexa kissed her, _quietly and sweetly_ behind the library before her math test. Lexa kissed her the shadows of her doorway, _hard and desperate_ , almost like she was searching for something she could break between her fingertips.

She held these moments, like scribbled notes in the margins of her textbooks or her secret hopes for the future, against her chest, not quite ready to share them with world. She sensed, intuitively that Raven picked up on it, her stolen glances and sudden upswing in mood. Raven had always been able to notice the subtle shifts in Clarke’s life, the unspoken changes that took place between them before Clarke had the clarity to voice them.

Raven’s intuition was confirmed with stark clarity one afternoon at lunchtime.

Raven had been chatting to Clarke at their lockers, putting their books away when Finn Collins sauntered past and leaned against Clarke’s locker. _Finn Collins,_ with his shaggy hair and cocky smile had been a diehard crush of Clarke’s all through early high school. They had dated, briefly, before Clarke had come to her senses. But he still took every opportunity to be _friendly_ , walk her to class, flirt with her and fill her space his boyish antics.

“Hey Princess.” He said, smirking, his shoulder resting on her unopened locker.

“Hey Finn,” She said, monotone, resigned.

“You’ve seemed a little _off_ lately.” He said, leaning further towards her. “…like you’re playing hard to get.”

Clarke sighed, exhausted. Her mind was lost in the lingering look Lexa had given her before she had left their science class and she no desire to entertain Finn’s fantasy.

“I’m not interested, Finn.” She said, pulling her bag over shoulders and edging further towards Raven.

Finn moved closer, his smile widening. “I know you’ve always liked me, Clarke. I’ve always liked our little game…” He said, grabbing her hip and pulling him closer towards her.

She let out a subtle groan, as she tried to push him off her. “ _No, Finn…_ ” 

Suddenly, things happened like lightening. She could usually sense _Lexa_ before she saw her _,_ like a smell on the air, a changing of season.

But before she knew what was happening, Lexa had appeared from nowhere. She had pinned Finn to Clarke’s locker, with a venomous rage that filled the hallway – electric and heaving.

She had pushed him against the locker with such rage, her voice barely audible. _“She said she’s not interested, you asshole.”_

 _Lexa Woods,_ usually resolute and stoic, was snarling against a pinned Finn Collins. She looked like she was about to kill him before John Murphy gently pulled at her shoulder.

“Come on Lexa, he’s not worth.”

 _“Attack her and you attack me,”_ Lexa said in a deathly whisper, before pushing Finn against the one more time, _hard_. “ _Leave her alone.”_ She added, her form undulating with fury as she stalked off with John at her side. 

She shot Clarke a look before she turned the corner, desolate and pleading.

Finn looked terrified and gasped out a _sorry Clarke_ before he scurried off away from the lockers. The whole hallways of students had looked on in shocked silence, but as Finn hurried away, the throngs of students started to move again, whispering together and looking at Clarke with bewildered and aghast expressions. Clarke stood rooted to the spot, panic rising in her chest, unable to quell the rising fear for _Lexa_ in her chest.

Raven had looked from Clarke to Finn to Lexa during the whole debacle, as if she was watching some kind of championship sporting match. In the aftermath, she fixed Clarke with a raised eyebrow, “So…” She said, feigning nonchalance. “Lexa Woods, huh?”

Clarke could only nod mutely, still rooted to the spot. Clarke felt the lockers in the hallway and low hum of student chatter like feedback close in her around her, her chest tightening, her breath caught in her throat. 

“Come on Griffin,” she said, pulling at Clarke’s hand. “We should probably talk.”

Clarke allowed herself to be led away by Raven to the rear of the library, a quiet corner under the wide shade of a sprawling eucalypt. Clarke could just out of the earshot, a low muttering of conversation and distinct snatches of her own name and _Lexa Woods_ and _Finn Collins._

_Did you see Lexa Woods beat the shit out of Finn Collins by the lockers?_

_Finn was just talking to Clarke Griffin and Lexa just attacked out of nowhere. Lexa Woods is terrifying, she’s going to be in serious trouble this time._

_He looked like he was about to piss himself. I don’t know, Finn Collins is a creep, he’s had it coming for a long time if you ask me._

Clarke put her head in her hands, trying to drown out the frantic whispering as the students sauntered off to class. 

She looked up, Raven was fixing her with a curious expression, a little self-satisfied smile on the corner of her lips. “So,” She repeated. “Lexa Woods, huh?”

Clarke took a deep breath and sighed. “Yes, Raven. _Lexa Woods._ ”

“When did this happen, Clarke?”

“It’s been a few weeks…I don’t know, Raven. I started seeing her when I was out walking some nights and we started talking…”

“Wow, Clarke,” Raven said sarcastically, “Lexa had a really intense reaction to Finn if you’ve just been _talking…”_

Clarke ignored her, “…then one night, she kissed me and I don’t know, Raven. It felt like…nothing I’ve ever felt before, _real_ …it felt real…”

Raven expression had shifted from amusement to deep contemplation, her brow furrowed slightly as she took in everything Clarke was telling her. 

“…I know she has _reputation,_ but she’s different with me, she’s softer and sweet. She’s got it really hard, Raven…and she holds it all together…” Clarke let out a slow sob, putting her head I her hands again. She felt Raven pull her into a deep hug, as she cried into her shoulder.

“Wow, Clarke,” She said. “ I never thought I would hear the words _soft_ and _sweet_ used to describe Lexa Woods.”

Clarke pulled away from the hug, wiping her eyes and let out a low heaving laugh. “Neither, to be honest. But I’ve had a crush on her for…”

“…so long, Clarke. You weren’t exactly _subtle_ about it…” She laughed again, deep and throaty. “…don’t worry, Octavia didn’t notice, but she may now…”

Suddenly, Clarke remembered. _Lexa._ Word of the altercation with Finn would have made its way to the teachers by now and Lexa was already skating on thin ice at school. She felt her stomach lurch, guilt sliding down her throat into her gut, thick and warm.

“Fuck, Raven. _Lexa_. She’s going to be in so much trouble…”

Raven nodded, giving her a small smile. “Go, Griffin. I’ll tell Pike you’re going to be late to PE.”

****

Clarke could feel her heart hammering in her chest, cold sweat on the back of her palms as she tore through the schoolyard Principle Kane’s office. She didn’t exactly have a plan, but the thought of _Lexa,_ her _Lexa_ being expelled or kicked out of school filled her with a rising panic, her stomach churning as she ran through the now deserted administration building.

She got to the front of his office, Principal Kane’s secretary giving her a surprised look.

“Ms. Griffin? I’m sorry, the Principal is meeting with some students’ rights now. You’ll have to make an appointment…”

“Finn and Lexa?” She interrupted.

The secretary nodded imperceptibly, Clarke took this as her cue and burst through the door of Principal Kane’s office.

Clarke liked Principal Marcus Kane, he had been friends with her mother since before she was born. He was a diplomatic school administrator, and Clarke could often trust him to find a fair and pragmatic solution to a dispute between students. However, no matter how _fair_. She wasn’t sure how any teacher would respond well to her bursting into their office in the middle of a disciplinarian meeting.

She had been right, she caught Principal Kane mid-sentence talking to a self-satisfied Finn Collins and _Lexa_. Lexa’s green eyes betrayed no emotion, her jaw was set and her gaze was trained at the front of the room.

“…Clarke…” Kane said, bewildered. “I’m actually in the middle of..”

“…Principal Kane.” Clarke said, her voice low and urgent. “I was there when the altercation between Lexa and Finn occurred, it wasn’t what you think.”

Kane cleared his throat, his eyes moving from Lexa to Finn to Clarke.

“Thankyou Ms Griffin…I’ll be happy to talk to you after, I think I have a pretty clear picture of what occurred from Mr Collins.”

 _Damn Lexa, of course you didn’t say anything in your own defence._

“Finn grabbed me, sir….” Clarke interrupted, “He cornered me by the lockers. I told him I wasn’t interested, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer and tried to grab me. Lexa witnessed it and was just trying to protect me…”

Principal Kane sighed and leaned back in his chair, he rubbed the stubble on his chin absentmindedly with the back of his hand, fixing Finn and Lexa with a beleaguered stare. He beckoned for Clarke to sit down on the empty chair near the side of his desk.

Clark sat, her heart still hammering in her chest. She she tried to shoot a side glance at Lexa whose gaze was still trained forward at the empty space between the window and the filing cabinets. It took every inch of her self-control to not reach out and lace her fingers around Lexa’s, gently untangling her balled up fists. 

“Is this true, Ms Woods?” He asked Lexa.

Lexa nodded, very slightly. “Yes, Mr Kane.” She said under her breath, meeting his gaze.

“Mr Collins?” Principal Kane asked, his tone a little more severe.

The smile on Finn’s face had slowly faded. “Clarke and I often flirt and play around, sir. We have a history…”

“Did she tell you she wasn’t interested?” Kane continued, his gaze hardened on a squirming Finn Collins.

“Yes, but-“

“…and did you fail to leave her alone when she asked you too?”

Finn nodded again, the colour had drained from his face and was now an ashen grey colour.

“Did you then touch her without her consent, Mr Collins?”

Finn nodded again, opening his mouth to defend himself and then closing it again.

Principal Kane sighed, leaning back in his chair.

“We take sexual harassment at this school very seriously, Mr Collins. It is particularly disappointing as you did not divulge this information to me when I initially asked you what happened. I’m going to give you a week of detention. If I hear about anything similar occurring in the future, you will be suspended. You can go…”

Finn looked humiliated, he tried to make eye contact with Clarke who kept her eyes trained on Kane. He swung his bag over his shoulders and left the room, muttering something under his breath.

Kane now shifted his gaze to Lexa, his tone softened slightly as he addressed her.

“Ms Woods, I know you were only defending your friend. But similarly, violence against other students is not tolerated at this school and this isn’t your first offence. You will join Mr Collins for a week of detention. I hope you understand…”

Lexa nodded, relieved, the tension in her jaw loosening slightly. “Thankyou, Mr Kane.”

“Clarke and Lexa…” He said, laying his palms flat on the desk in front of himself, his voice lowered. “If something similar occurs, please talk to a teacher instead of resorting to violence…or taking it into your own hands. ”

“We will, thanks Mr Kane,” Clarke said, grabbing Lexa’s hand and pulling her out of the office before he could say anything further. “Thanks for your understanding.”

Lexa allowed herself to be ushered from the office by Clarke and pulled out of the school administration building. She had been so sure that Clarke would be angry at her for attacking Finn Collins or that she was about to be expelled from school. Clarke had burst into Principal Kane’s office, her blue eyes ablaze and full of anger and _somehow_ Lexa had only received a week of detention. She couldn’t remember a time when _someone, anyone_ had come to her defence like that, especially not with the bull-headed stubborn defiance of _Clarke Griffin._

Clarke led her to the small alcove behind the library, hidden from view by the low bricked walls and overgrown rhododendron bushes.

Lexa opened her mouth say something, apologise for attacking Finn or involving her in the trouble with Principal Kane.

Clarke kissed, open-mouthed and desperate. Lexa could feel the apology on her lips, the urgency in Clarke’s breath as she kissed her back. She felt the schoolyard melt away, pulling Clarke closer to her, the smell of her skin, and taste of her mouth, the feel of her body pressed against her torso.

“Clarke…” She said, pulling away and taking a deep shuddering breath.

“ _Lexa_ …” Clarke said, imitating Lexa’s serious tone.

“Clarke,” Lexa repeated, her face breaking into a small smile. “Are you alright…after…?” She said, gently pulled a strand of Clarke’s golden hairs behind her ears, stroking her cheek.

“I was fine, _thanks to you_.” Clarke fingers rubbed circles on the small of Lexa’s back, her forehead almost pressed against Lexa’s, sharing the same breath. “I was more worried about you…getting into trouble.”

“Thanks Clarke…” Lexa’s voice cracked slightly, as she pulled away slightly and avoided Clarke’s gaze. “I’m sorry I attacked Finn…I-“

“Finn’s an asshole, he had it coming…” Clarke pulled Lexa closer, meeting her gaze.

Lexa’s voice was quiet, and Clarke could feel her tremble slightly in her arms. “…I know it seems harsh, but violence has always been how I’ve survived…”

“Maybe life should about more than just surviving. Don't we deserve better than that?”

“Maybe we do…” Lexa said, kissing her. Clarke could feel the tension of Lexa’s body melt away, she could feel her heartbeat on her lips, the unspoken words between them. Finally, pulling away from the kiss she leaned her forehead against Lexa’s, a small smile on her lips.

“I think it may be difficult to keep our relationship a secret now…” Clarke said quietly, her hot breath on Lexa’s neck.

“Oh,” Lexa said quietly. “I didn’t even think of that.”

“Yeah, I think beating the shit of Finn Collins for touching me kind of reeks of… _more than friends.”_ Clarke said, with a small laugh. She sensed the subtle shift in Lexa’s mood, the tightening of her shoulders, the quiver in her voice. “I’m not upset, Lexa. I don’t want to keep you a secret.”

Lexa smiled, her green eyes, the colour of sea glass, brightened. Lexa looked contemplative and as if she was about to say something, but the moment was interrupted by the bell.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked. Lexa shook her head, finding words unnecessary as Clarke tightened her grip on Lexa’s hand and led her out into the hordes of students travelling from one class to another. “Can I walk you to class?”

Clarke and Lexa walked hand in hand towards Lexa’s class on the east side of the campus. Clarke barely registered the low hum of excited chatter and intrigued looks they received from the rest of the student body, as Lexa rubbed small circles onto the back of her knuckles. She caught sight of a humiliated Finn Collins, his shoulders bent and a dejected look on his face as he walked to class.

Raven zig-zagged towards them on her way to her Advanced Calculus class. “Hey Lexa,” she said, giving her a firm nod as if she had always known about her and Clarke’s secret love affair. “All good with Kane?”

“One week of detention.” Lexa said, picking up on the unspoken cue. “It would have been worse if Clarke hadn’t…”

“Clarke loves to don the superhero cape…” Raven says with an air of mockery. “But, I’m glad it worked out. See you after class, Clarke?”

Clarke nodded, unable to hide a wide smile from Raven.

“By the way, Griffin.” Raven said in an undertone to Clarke. “Be prepared for a full-scale interview from Octavia regarding your relationship with Lexa...”

Clarke groaned as Raven gave her a pitying smile and disappeared into the crowd of students.

“See?” Clarke said, heaving reached Lexa’s classroom. “Cat’s out of the bag.”

“…who is the cat or the bag in this scenario, Clarke?”

Clarke laughed, ignored her comment and leaned in and kissed Lexa’s cheek, enjoying the stares and whispers of the rest of Lexa’s awaiting class. “You’re obviously the cat, Lexa.”

 _Lexa Woods,_ all dark leather and sharp cheekbones.

 _Lexa Woods,_ who beat up Finn Collins by the lockers.

 _Lexa Woods_ was dating _Clarke Griffin._


End file.
